Nearly all of us seek advice from partners, friends and loved ones expecting them to share their insight on our problems and give us constructive feedback to feel supported in our life journey. But the reality could be that not all of us might be looking for honest feedback or criticism. It is possible that we at times are happy getting approval from others about what we think is right and do not really care about what people really think about us or our decisions. (Also read: Signs of a long-lasting relationship: Expert offers insights)
However, a part of us, may secretly wish that people share their true opinion about ourselves. When someone does try to give genuine feedback to us which is an uncomfortable truth, we end up giving cold vibes to that person, discouraging them to be honest with us in future.
Nedra Glover Tawwab, Therapist, Author, NYT Bestselling Author and Relationship & Boundaries Expert in her latest Instagram post shares how people are uncomfortable facing the truth which in turn discourages others to speak their mind.
“Stop getting mad at people for lying when you can’t handle the truth. That is hard to hear but it is honest in many situations that we are showing someone that we cannot handle them telling the truth to us. We are showing it through punishing them, through showing that we are upset, giving them the silent treatment, being mean,” says Tawwab.
The psychologist advises one to watch out for their emotional reaction while expecting truth from people.
“If you want people to be honest with you, you will have to learn to withstand honesty. It is hard. It is uncomfortable. But if you are asking a question, be responsible for dealing with your emotional reaction. to the answer but if you want people to be honest, it is important that you learn how to accept the truth,” says the therapist.
The bestselling author says being honest with yourself can be life-changing and one has to be honest to self to allow others to be honest with you. “Sometimes people cannot hear the truth because they aren’t ready or unwilling to accept it,” she says.